


Admiration

by melapples_honey



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Dan Howell - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phan, Phil Lester - Fandom
Genre: BoyxBoy, Drug Use, Fanfiction, M/M, Phan Angst, Phan Smut, did u mean the most basic gay fic ever oh my godd, wowie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 19:47:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9783119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melapples_honey/pseuds/melapples_honey
Summary: when dan was young boy, he had a best friend named phil. they did everything imaginable together. but one day when dan was thirteen, he came home from school to find that next door phil's home was empty, not even a single piece of furniture left. dan had a hard time coping with phil leaving without telling him, but he's seventeen now. he should be over it by now, right?-lowercase intended-





	

dan always considered himself to be a loner of some sort. yeah, he had a few friends over the years, but they never really seemed to stick. when he was five years old, he met an older boy named phil. as obvious as it is, phil hadn't stuck around and left without note when dan was thirteen. dan's mother informed him phil had moved to phoenix arizona in the united states because of a job opportunity. when dan looked that up on a map, he decided that phoenix was pretty far away.

dan's seventeen now, lives in bristol, and shares his dorm with his best mate damien. he'd met damien a few years before and they'd got on very well. damien was a sort of a partier, dan didn't mind. he was just grateful to have someone around so he didn't get lonely and only had to pay half the rent. 

"dan, have you seen my keys?!" damien yelled from his room.

"fridge." dan replied.

"i really need to stop fucking doing that."

"probably." damien just cast him one last smirk before leaving for the night. Dan continued to finish up his studying, something he'd found himself doing more often. of coarse it was nice to live out of the house, but little things reminded him of phil since he started university. every damn time it left a little pang in his chest. 

as he went on through his years of education he'd seemed to have trained himself to forget about phil. apparently that method wasn't working anymore. he just wanted his "philly" back, as little dan would've said. almost five years was a long fucking time.

as dan finished studying he heard a knock at the door. he stood up, figuring it was probably charlie coming to stop by for something to eat again. it turns out it was.

"hey danny boy." charlie said.

"um, no?" dan replied.

"yes."

"uhh..."

"do you have any frosted flakes left for your pal?" charlie asked as he opened the small pantry in their kitchen.

"yeah, right to your left in the back, third shelf."

"love you, man. really, I love you and your frosted flakes. i thought I'd truly die without any."

"why don't you just go to the store and buy food of your own again?"

"because I'm i little tight on money right now and you love me. also; munchies."

"whatever."

"hey, don't be so salty. why don't I take you out for I nice meal at mcdonald's to pay you back for all the cereal I've eaten of yours!" charlie said grinning widely.

"eh, why not. got nothing better to do I guess." dan said not as enthusiastically. with that, dan grabbed his keys and walked out the door wondering what phil might be up to at the moment. the car ride was as giggly as ever, all coming from charlie of coarse.

as they walked up to the entrance, dan felt a shift in the air. the hair on the back of his neck stood up as he tried to figure out what the feeling in the pit of his stomach was. as soon as they walked in dan tapped charlie on the shoulder and informed him he was gonna go into the restroom before ordering and that he could find a seat and charlie nodded. 

dan didn't technically need to go to the bathroom as more so he needed to calm down his nerves for a minute. he looked in the mirror at himself. he was wearing some new extra black skinny jeans he'd just bought a few days previously with a black belt, and a plain light weight short sleeved black t-shirt. he had some black tyler lace up boots he'd gotten for his birthday from his parents (snazzy) with his dyed black hair pushed up over to the side slightly from studying. he took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom muttering the words, "fuck it."

dan noticed as he walked out of the bathroom the music playing through the wall speakers. bobbing his head to the song was better than trembling he thought, and he walked toward charlie sitting down at a table in the far right back corner. 

"pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girl." he lightly muttered and chuckled slightly to himself as he reached the table feeling slightly better since taking a minute to breathe in the restroom.

"ready to order?" charlie asked.

"yeah, let's."

\----- 

"do you want me to take out your trash while you're in the restroom?" dan asked charlie.

"yeah, yeah thanks. I'll be back in a minute." 

as soon as charlie turned the corner into the bathroom, dan's stomach didn't have butterflies anymore. it completely dropped and a small part of him had the sudden urge to call his mom to make sure she didn't die some sort of a sudden tragic death. 

and that's when he heard it.

a voice he hadn't heard in five years.

"do you guys have any job openings?" dan shook. it's probably just someone who sounds like him, he thought. don't be stupid. he's not here, bristol of all places. why would he be here? if he were to come back to the uk at all, it would be in wokingham where they grew up, wouldn't it? phil isn't here. phil's in arizona right now, at least still in america. phil isn't here, phil isn't here, phil isn't here, phil isn't here, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, he thought.

dan slowly turned his body to the right hoping, praying, he wasn't gonna spot phil. he hated phil. that's a lie, he still considers phil his best friend. he should hate phil, right? after all, phil left him without saying anything. phil wouldn't do that unless he didn't like dan and was just lying about being dan's friend all that time, right? phil's a bitch, dan told himself. 

as soon as he turned to see if it was phil, he saw charlie walking straight toward him with his arms open smiling right infront of the man he was trying to see. dan leaned back and forth trying to see past charlie, but charlie apparently took this as a challenge and leaned side to side laughing. dan stood up to get past charlie and scanned the crowd, eager at this point to discover the owner of the voice that sounded mysteriously like an older version of thirteen year old phil's voice. it took dan a good few seconds to finally spot who it was from the time he heard the voice to where he was then. his eyes widened in shock, fear, anger, and slight sadness. not that he'd let anybody know by looking at him.

he saw phil standing there filling up his cup with orange soda. dan looked closer, still not believing phil was standing right there in front of him. his black hair was sitting in his regular fringe, a buttoned up plaid navy green and dark blue short sleeved shirt, faded black skinny jeans, and black and white converse. dan's mind was going a million miles an hour trying to comprehend that phil was just standing there.

how?

as dan looked at his shoes and was contemplating weather or not to just turn back around and leave or to try and make conversation, phil turned to his left and saw him. dan sensed he'd been spotted, looking up and locking eyes with phil who looked like a dear in the headlights. shit, he knows who I am, dan thought. phil walked forward and before dan knew it phil was standing right in front of him looking like he wanted to say something. dan decided to go first.

"fuck you."

phil looked up wide eyed again, mouth open, his problem now being not knowing how to reply to that statement.

"um, hello dan. you've... really grown up. i-you live here? I mean-well you're here so i assume. you're mad at me right? I'm sorry. it's j-just that-" just hearing phil talk to him made him ten times more angry than before. so, dan proudly being the the sarcastic asshole he can be, decided to play around with phil. fuck phil, he thought to himself. he left you. He never cared. fuck him.

"oh, so we've developed a stutter have we? how cute. what's it been? three years? four?" dan smirked, "yeah. oh, looks like puberty stopped at thirteen for you, didn't it? must suck." phil looked taken back.

"dan look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving." he said looking slightly hopeful.

"It's cool, I haven't really given a fuck in a long time though. little late. what are you even doing in bristol? don't you live in the us?"

"oh, well... I have an internet friend im staying with here. I'm attending university here, first day on monday. missed being in the uk."

"that's nice." right as dan said that, charlie tapped on his shoulder. 

"who's this dan? I've never seen him before! why haven't you shown me your frienddddds. rude danny." charlie teased.

"im phi-"

"he's not my friend. he's just somebody I used to know." dan glared.

"well, how about you get to know him again maybe? we could all get to know each other and be mates since we go to the same university!" it'll be cool dan, right?" charlie said in a voice dan assumed meant to stop being rude.

"yeah, yeah, sure." dan replied.

"how about you give us your number, phil? we could all go out for food or something. get to know each other better." charlie said.

"alright." phil said wobbly as he read out his number.

"thanks! we were just going though so we'll text you sometime to set something up? see you around, phil!"

"see you around charlie... dan." phil frowned. dan half assed waved as he walked out the door, not bothering to look back but finding himself wanting to.

"what's that all about, dan? you're never usually that rude to people you apparently don't know."

"it's just phil, charlie. it's whatever."

"okay..." charlie replied knowing not to ask more questions. at least not at the moment.


End file.
